Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas approaches.

It is the week before and I am just observing another difference in me. Curious. There are quiet pools of calmness where my covet lists used to be. I keep telling my sweetheart that I don't want-don't need-anything under the tree. He insists. I insist. We found watches in Walgreens for $4.95 a piece, bought two for each of us since that is cheaper than batteries and was fun. I put them unwrapped under the tree. There! But he still wants to buy something to wrap. I am really OK and would be absolutely content as is.

We went to Target and created photo cards for the first time ever. I ordered 100. I wanted to send to people I had never sent to, people who had touched me this past year, people who are keepers in my life...and yes, of course, some of those political people who reside in work or family circles. This may be the only one they'll ever get but it feels like a closure action, on the high road. Between the cards and the stamps, the cost is one of my gifts back. Right? No, there should be something wrapped under the tree for me. He insists. I insist. I smile because I am going to loose this one and ...even that is not important. I love him and if he needs to buy me something - that's fine too.
  • I am OK with my hair now. It has stopped falling out and I have adjusted to the new look--and hats.
  • Work is unchanged but I am redoubling my efforts to evolve so that I can endure. I actively try and look for the positive bits--what I can do, what I have accomplished, who around me are blessings (either partly or in their entirety), and the security of a job with benefits that provides me with food and shelter for myself and the man I love. Change does not happen overnight, only the knowledge that change must occur...the process is hard, but rewarding work.
  • I have launched my art website. It is just a start but I feel good that I am finally moving forward, albeit slowly. No more being the servant who buried his talents and displeased the master.
  • Dad has driven down from his home west of the twins, in 'da nort, and will be with my sister until Christmas day. The he comes to my house for a week. I am already grinning. True, we will have some grating and tension to go with the joys because I am his stubborn child and 3 adults in the house for a week is a trial, but more celebration than aggravation.

I am really, truly blessed and look forward to the new year with great joy and anticipation. It will be another wonderful year-perhaps even better than this one, and this would be hard to top!

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