At the risk of sounding like a cliche, read this high and lilting, with the voice inflections of Shirley Temple - I dare you.
"Say! How about, instead of getting a butch hair cut and being depressed, I pull out all of my old hats! I used to wear hats all the time. Hats are swell and they keep your head warm and - golly - winter is just around the corner. I have cowboy hats, knit hats, baseball hats, vamp hats, voyager hats, skunk-skin hats, Amish hats, pillbox hats, top hats...why you name it and I probably have one. Golly Gee sure! That's what I'll do."
OK, yes, maybe so. Not a bad idea. OK, but without the accent.