Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lfe-precious ain't it?

This may be long. This will not be profound. I simply need to record some facts for myself to refer back to as I come out of the hole. My brain is mushy.
  • Late May. Healthy. Decide to go to the doctor and kick the tires. Prepare for a new adventure of job and diet and exercise. All tests came back exceptionally good except for triglycerides. OK. I will consider medication to speed the process.
  • May 29. Started on Tril*ipix.
  • 7 days on and I am struggling with side effects-bad ones-all of those on the 'call your doctor immediately...' list. Nurses take notes. No call back.
  • I press the issue and call 2 more times. The afternoon of the 11th nurses leave message at home-"stop, you're overdosing. Cut the pill in half."
  • I call back the next day to ask how to split a capsule--count little balls? The nurses tell me the doctor will call in another med instead.
  • I leave for an out of town wedding on Friday afternoon and decide to take a break from bad meds and plan to start new ones Monday morning.
  • Start new med Monday the 15th. Symptoms worsen. I start calling again by Wednesday. Stop med after Thursday evening and call doctor's office Friday morning to say I am done. If he disagrees HE can call me back. Med free June 19th on.
  • At this point my pee is still the color of tea, my heart rate runs 138 if I walk over 15 yards, I am so exhausted I cannot raise my hands over my head to wash my hair, my ankles look like cantaloupes, and I cannot think straight so work is minimized. My fiscal year end is toast. So is my brain. I am pretty sure I am dying and no one is listening...except Ray.
  • We have no air conditioning the next week so I left work each day by 1 with the 'too hot' excuse. No one questioned and I went home to bed.
  • June 25th, one week out. Go to a bluegrass festival and continue to pump water and self medicate with what I consider to be logic. I nap alot. I wonder how much damage is permanent.
  • 29th, 11 days out. Staff all say I look so awful that they're past worried. I am now the color of a ripe banana and peeing tea. Calls resume to doctor. No response.
  • Wednesday I crash his office and force an appointment. I am due to go north camping on an island and am concerned about dying where the ferry access is 45 minutes. Besides, I need to know how long before this passes?
  • Doctor walks in room and is floored. Jaw dropping. I have no differentiation between lips and cheek-it's all yellow. Bottom line of what he tells me is-"...if you had not stopped when you did on June 19th you would be dead. You are in liver failure and kidney failure. You are one of the exceedingly rare individuals (1%) who cannot take anything remotely akin to a statin. Statins will kill you. I am so sorry." That last part was repeated numerous times.
  • No, I am not a litigator. Sure I have a case but this is between he and his staff....and he and God. I did not tell him that.
  • What now? He said it will take a month to begin to recover. I take control of my health and am eating natural diuretics to shed the water (asparagus, brussel sprouts, green tea, cranberry, etc). I am eating a liver recovery diet (as if I had hepatitis) so no organ meats, big dairy, caffeine, pop, etc. No alcohol for a year.
  • I am $350 into a national library conference that starts this Friday night and I have no idea if I can walk to a shuttle buss? I am so mad I could scream but too tired to. I am now praying my job search efforts actually fizzle because I couldn't even if I wanted to.
  • I must concentrate on trying to get through each day. I must try to get enough done so as not to loose my job. I must hope that I can rebound and do all my year end reports before my boss comes back on the 25th. I must keep on praying. All things are possible through Him.....and I believe in Him.
  • The doctor said that everything is reversible. I pray he is right - although my faith in him or any medical folk is pretty transparent right now.

Pray for me. It is the only thing that I know is certain to help. I will work on the rest.

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